Our Journey Through TTC, Pregnancy And Motherhood @lezdreamtobemoms - Tumblr Blog | Tumlook (2024)

10 dpo

August 8, 2021

I was so excited to take a test. I got a BFP with both of my girls on this day. I even videoed the test progress…. but those words “Not Pregnant” appeared and I’m so sad and disappointed.

We will try again during the next cycle but it’s our final chance.

I was so confident too…. 😪😭 But your did tell my wife that there is no way we’d be so lucky to get a BFP on the first try again.

Here we go again!

So we’ve started trying for baby #3. It’s August 5th and I am 7dpo. We had our IUI last Thursday and now we are just waiting in the tww. I hate this part. I’ve announced to Insta and family that we had our IUI and they are also waiting for the testing day. I also told everyone we are going to test on day 14, but I am going to on day 12 so we know before everyone starts asking. I may even test on day 10 because that’s when I got my positive last time with Jordyn. Which means I only need to wait 3 days instead of 5. I’m an impatient person. :) Day 10 it is….

If it’s positive… woot woot! But if it’s negative, we are only trying 2x because that’s how many vials we had bought. So please stick baby. Stick!

May 2, 2021

Wow... life sure has changed since my last post.

A worldwide pandemic.

A whole year quarantined.

A miscarriage.

Trying for baby #3 again, hopefully soon.

Sold our house and moved in with family.

Birthdays.

And... my sister in law passed away from breast cancer. 5 months and counting. Guess the doctors were wrong. Being young and healthy isn’t a guarantee for anything when the cancer you have is aggressive and rare and set on killing you. RIP sis. I miss and love you.

I thought I’d try and get back on here to document our try for baby 3. But reading my last post.... brings out all the feels. I may need time.

August 29th, 2018

My SIL was diagnosed with breast cancer. Stage 2. They are pretty confident they can put her into remission since she’s young and healthy. I’ll be helping her run my niece to appointments and helping homeschool her when she starts chemo. It’s so hard to see her go through this. And puts life into perspective. I hope every day that my wife and I will live long enough to see our girls grow up and become strong, happy women.

Jordyn’s birth story

March 23rd I start having contractions. Although they are erratic, they are painful so I let my family and friends know that baby should be coming soon. My mom comes up to watch Mya and D and I go to the hospital. Unfortunately I was only 1cm so they sent me home. D and I start doing things to try and get things progressing. We walk, I bounce on the medicine ball, my friend comes over and we walk up and down the stairs. The contractions keep getting close together and longer but then they space out again. I start to worry that this is going to be like my first labor with Mya. Prodromal labor for 2 days followed by a C-section was not what I was hoping for again. I was keeping my fingers crossed for a successful VBAC. My mom and MIL are both over watching Queer Eye on Netflix and Mya is basking in all the attention they have been giving her when my friend suggests that D check my dilation. So after watching YouTube videos she’s pretty sure she’s got it. I mean she’s done ICIs at home so I know she knows the cervix. Lol. We go upstairs and after some maneuvering, uncomfortableness and laughter, she said she thinks I’m 3cm and we should go back to the hospital soon. My friend leaves and we decide we should head out since at this point contractions are again getting close and strong. It’s 11pm at this time. We say goodbye to Mya and head to the hospital. Hospital says we are 3cm but they want me at 4. My MIL shows up now, it’s early morning and D heads to the car to get some shut eye before all the excitement comes. My MIL helps me walk up and down the hallways (dejavou from my labor with Mya- same hospital, same hallways, same person walking with me) and the contractions are now getting more precise in timing and strength. Suddenly I feel like vomiting (I always vomit when in pain) and I start throwing up in the trash can in the hallway. While vomiting I feel something trickle down my leg and I let a passing nurse know that I think my water broke. They help me back to the admin room and check me again. My MIL calls the wife to tell her my water broke and she rushes in disheveled from an awesome (sarcastic tone) 20min power nap. But nope, water didn’t break I just peed on myself. 🙄 But I was 4cm so they were admitting me.

We get into our room and at first I debate on refusing an epidural but after speaking with D, I decide it’s in my best interest to get one. Last time the pain caused my body to be very distressed and upped my blood pressure dangerously high. I wait until I’m a little more dilated before requesting it (5cm I believe). The whole process goes by smoothly and within moments my pain is just a memory. We get sleep and the contractions are there but muted. Just pressure, no pain. My MIL sleeps deeply enough to miss the multiple cervix checks. Lol. She does wake up suddenly and asks if she missed the birth. She said she had dreamed that she saw the baby and it had a lot of hair so thought it had already happened. Time passes and the nurses help me try different things to help speed up the process. I use a peanut ball to help open my hips into a good birthing position and we switch sides whenever I start feeling uncomfortable. D is feeling really nervous at the passing of time and kept asking if I was sure I wanted to do a VBAC and maybe just do a C-section to be on the safe side. I reassure her that I feel great and if the doctor isn’t worried, neither am I. Just then the doctor comes in and says I’m only at 6/7 cm and she’ll check me in an hour. I let her know about D’s concerns and if everything seems okay. She said it’s been textbook and not to worry. My body is doing just fine. 50 mins later I look over at D and say, “I need to push. I think the baby is right there.” She jumps up to call the nurse and the nurse says not to push until she grabs the doctor. They wake the doctor and she takes a quick peek and says “oh wow, the baby is right there. It’s time.” D takes a peek and said she could see her hair.

Just as the doctor is getting ready I hear a man’s voice outside in the hall asking if this was the Fair room. My dad of course showed up at the worst time. I start yelling that he needs to wait outside I’m about to push out a baby. They put my legs up and ask me to do a practice push. Doctor said it was perfect and to do that same push again and again until the baby is born. So I do. 2 pushes later her head is out and 1 final push and she slides right out. They give her straight to me and we do skin to skin while they stitch me up. 2nd degree tear but I didn’t feel a thing (not even the sewing needle). I had done it. A successful VBAC just as I wanted. And she was perfect. She had a head full of beautiful hair and she looked just like her sister. 6lbs 8ozs and 20in. Jordyn Aria Selene.

I felt amazing but unfortunately Jordyn had jaundice so we were told we needed to stay in the hospital an extra night for her to be monitored. We had my mom bring Mya in and she was unimpressed with her new sibling. She was just happy to see her moms again since she had never spent a night away from us. Luckily the hospital agreed to let Mya stay the night with us if she stayed fairly quiet since the ward wasn’t busy. We watched movies, cuddled, and just enjoyed our forced hospital sleepover. In the morning we got the all clear for Jordyn and we packed up. Then of course our car had engine trouble driving home from the hospital and after a peeved and fearful call to the dealership (the suv was 1 week old), we made it home and they came and towed it. It was returned a few days later after they fixed some loose bolt.

All in all it was a perfect textbook birth with some interesting moments thrown in.

Jordyn’s newborn shoot

August 8th, 2018

It seems that so many months pass between updates but life is just crazy. Baby Jordyn was born March 24th. She’s now 4.5 months old. She’s perfect. She’s a great sleeper, so chill and happy, non-demanding and just seems to enjoy watching everything. She makes parenting 2 easy.... for now. She learned how to roll last week and within hours was rolling back to front and front to back. Then crawling across the bed inch worm style. Lol. She’s such a joy and brings so much happiness into our lives.

Mya is now three. We threw her a dino-roar 3-Rex party and she loved it. She’s smart as a whip and one of the funniest kids I’ve ever met. She’s just amazing.

D got a new job and is killing it. She’s extremely busy and works a lot more but she seriously is a boss. Her drive and work ethic is unparalleled. I’m so glad the girls have a woman like her to look up to. I think she’s even awed and impressed those who hired her because even they are making comments about her successes.

My nephews and SIL moved into their own new house and love it. It’s freed up space here and it’s quieter but I miss watching all the cousin fun they had. Our dog Nala also passed away back in January. She made it through the holidays. Unfortunately after her surgery they found that the tumor had spread to her lymph nodes and that there was nothing they could do. So we simply helped give her more time as best as we could with medicines and love.

Also, I’m glad to have my body back. I love being pregnant and my body surprises me with how well it handles pregnancy. But I enjoy being able to touch my feet (and see them), see where I’m shaving and do things without getting the stank eye from people (or endless offers to help). I did enjoy every second of pregnancy though because I knew it was the last time. The wife and I agreed on two bio kids and if we decide on more we will adopt.

I’ll post Jordyn’s birth story too. It was pretty uneventful and nothing like the first go around. Thank goodness.

Hola!

Thursday, November 16th 2017

Wow it’s been a while. I never seem to have time anymore. My four nephews (16, 13, 5 and 3) have all moved in with us as well as my sister in law while their house is being built. So they’ll be here until right after New Year’s. It’s been nice and hectic. Nice to watch Mya enjoy having them here and play. Nice to not have to be her play buddy every spare minute. Hectic because she’s trying to copy things they do (like swing from banisters or jump down 3-4 stairs) when she’s not ready to do it yet. Hectic because she’s picking up some habits I’m not fond of (like pretending to kill with a gun and ignoring us when we tell her not to do something).

Our fur baby Nala had surgery last week to remove the huge mass cell tumor (cancerous) from her armpit and is recovering now. She’s actually healing better than the vets expected already so that’s exciting! She had the same surgery last year but it returned so hoping this one was a success.

Wife is starting to coach basketball again this season and has now picked up 2 teams. 13-14 and 16-17 year olds so we will be pretty busy. Right now though she has pneumonia in her left lung and pink eye in her left eye. She’s suffering and I feel terrible for her. Especially since I really can’t do anything for her being pregnant and not wanting to risk being sick. In other news she had her first interview in 10 years (she’s been steadily moving up in her current company but has plateaued and thinking of moving on) and got offered the job! But she’s still deciding if she wants it right now. She mainly wanted interview experience but having an offer on the table is appealing. Only problems are they didn’t offer her what she wants salary-wise and we’d have to switch our insurance company. We love what we have now and I’m already halfway through this pregnancy. We aren’t interested in switching but will for the right price.

Our house is great. I love where we live and have started to really make this place feel like home. I already decorated for Christmas. 😱 I know Thanksgiving hasn’t even come yet but Mya has been so excited for it this year that I got in the spirit early.

Mya is amazing. She’s absolutely perfect. We are working on her alphabet (she sings the whole thing but hasn’t figured out individual letters yet), she has a good understanding of her shapes and colors and she can count to 14! She smart, super silly, kind, loving and full of life! She’s perfect.... and I hope I have some love left for her sister to be because I can’t imagine loving anything more or equally right now.

I’m doing great too. Second trimester is here and it’s kind to me. Only sleeping has gotten hard with this growing belly. Otherwise I stay busy with play dates and new adventures.

Nap time is almost over though so better get back to not having a minute!

Mya on top and new baby girl on bottom. Twinsies?

Big news for the Fair family! #itsafairlife #familyoffour #newaddition #babymyapapaya #duemarch2018 #bigsister

Life is beautiful. 😍❤️ #babymyapapaya #itsafairlife #familyday #hartlandorchard #familyselfie #mygirls

Pepper

Where to start?

Three days ago we had to put our first born fur-child Pepper to sleep. The cancer had just taken over and she was in too much pain. It was the hardest thing we've ever had to do. She was in our lives for our 12 years. We knew it was going to happen sooner or later but we thought we'd have at least another month or two with her.

Sunday we woke up to Pepper shivering like she was in pain. It eventually stopped so we went to a birthday party and when we got home that afternoon, Pep was limping. She couldn't put any pressure on one of her back legs and when I let her out she collapsed while trying to urinate. Her legs and stomach had already been really swollen from fluid and inflammation from the cancer. But now it looked worse. She barely made it inside and just collapsed in a corner and wouldn't move. We knew it wasn't good. I called my mom and she drove up to watch Mya so we could take her to the emergency clinic. We had Mya and Nala say their good-byes because we were fairly certain what the vet would recommend and we were right. She had a fever of almost 106 (hence the shivering) and they told us she was definitely in pain. When they brought her back to us she seemed a little better as she was actually standing and not collapsing. But she was still limping and she seemed so distant. The vet told us that they were giving her a sedative so we thought that was it. She was drifting around the room in a daze, not coming to us and just seemed confused. When the vet came back in they told us they were going to give her the sedative now and we realized she hadn't had it yet, she was just literally declining in front of our eyes. So we felt better about our decision. We stayed with her as she passed and it was one of the hardest thing either of us had to do. We are going to miss her terribly. There is already an emptiness where her life used to fill in this house. Some moments I forget and then I look over and see Nala laying on her bed alone. Or the sounds of only one set of paws walking around the floor. And I'm reminded of the hole she has left behind.

26 Month Mya

Mya can count to 19, she repeats a few teens but knows the numbers. She can sing her alphabet correctly and even recognizes some letters (A-D, O, S). She doesn't have a total grasp of her colors but almost always gets the color pink right. Yay.... lol (my least fav). Shapes are great too. She knows star, Circle, heart, diamond but a bit iffy with square, rectangle and triangle. She's completely potty trained during the day but has accidents when she zones into tv. Her favorite shows are Paw Patrol, Daniel Tiger and Bubble Guppies. She still nurses consistently but has done better with night weaning. Only waking for me to hold her and walk with her to fall back asleep for less than 10 mins and no longer asking for milk or screaming until she's hoarse. It used to be for at least an hour. We still bedshare too. She loves bubbles, toy vehicles, music, balls, books, singing, water of any kind and being outside. She's more of an introvert, preferring to play with just family members or doing her own thing. She listens incredibly well and talks like a 4 year old. Her vocabulary is astounding. She's not much of an eater and likes snacking more than eating meals. And the only way she'll eat a good bit is when she's distracted with the tv. A bad habit I know. She still signs a bit but not as often. She loves ice cream, popsicles, spaghetti, Mac n cheese, pretzels, apples, carrots, berries, peaches and ketchup. I can't wait to see what's next!

Someone got spoiled at Build-A-Bear today by their visiting Grandma @rvatrainer65 #itsafairlife #babymyapapaya #pawpatrol #skyepup #buildabear #thispupsgottafly #newaddition

Paci to the rescue?

Monday, July 24th 2017 Mya has always been a bad sleeper. It's been worse lately. I'm not sure if it's because I'm uncomfortable and she senses it (I've been sleeping at the end of the bed for more space!) or just hitting a restless period. We ended up buying her a pacifier to se if that can help soothe her at night instead of needing my nipple the whole night to sleep. Tried it last night but she wasn't fooled, it wasn't my boob. However we had a mini break through! She woke up around 145 and I tried the paci to soothe her back down but no luck, rescue failed. She started fussing and crying so I took her to her room in order to let D get some sleep before work. I then told her she had 1 minute to nurse and then she had to be done. I counted in my head and then said 3-2-1 and she got off without a fuss. She put the paci in her mouth for a minute but then took it out and passed out while I rocked her and sang "Wheels in the bus". I laid her in her bed and she rolled over and went back to sleep. Guys, I wanted to cry. I'm hoping this becomes a thing! She slept from about 230 until 530ish. I woke up and made sure she was breathing I was so shocked! 3 hours! Consecutively sleeping! In her bed!! 😭

4 weeks 3 days

Saturday, July 22nd 2017 Still no symptoms. But I'm trying to just focus on staying healthy and being a good mom to Mya and less on how little bean is doing in there. I can only wait to see at our first apt August 21st. Less than a month... I can do this.

I just discovered text gifs. The wife is already annoyed with my new discovery. 😂